{February 27, 2012}   A Blind Date.. No for real… Going in Blind

So it’s was my second date tonight. I went out with O. O is 25, works in marketing, he enjoys sporting events, likes to drink wine with friends and entertain friends at his apartment… That’s what they said in their description. Brown hair brown eyes, that was pretty much the only accurate part of their description. Let’s start from the beginning…

I was the first to arrive again. I beginning to feel thirsty, but I we less than 10 minutes early so I don’t feel too bad. I ordered my drink and positioned myself so that I could see the street through the window and the entrance through the bar mirror at the same time. My drink was just arriving when I say a brown haired brown eyed white guy rounding the bend. I knew instantly it was him but I didn’t turn around. I scanned him through the mirror. Thin lips, thin nose and a jutted out chin. Not my version of attractive but not hideous. He didn’t bother to dress for the occasion, he wore jeans and didn’t bother to dress for the occasion. I reminded myself that I am opening myself to new opportunities and I am not here to judge. So I watch as he checks in with the hostess, confirming his identity. She points in my direction, there was some whispering between the two, probably him asking which one I was. He looks at the two blondes sitting a couple seats away. She points again. He looks at three brunettes across the bar from me. Finally she just walks up to me and taps me on the shoulder…They obviously didn’t tell him I was black. I’ll go into my rant about that later.

Anyway we shake hands and he sits beside me at the bar and orders a beer. I ask if he wants to grab a table he says no the bar is fine. We aren’t staying for dinner that much is clear. Instantly I am glad I gave in and ordered food before getting dressed. Instantly I’m regret the fact that it was Chinese. I’m fine at the moment but I will be hungry again. The bar tender asks if we would like to order dinner, I didn’t even have time to open my mouth, an instantaneous “no” followed by a “I mean if that’s okay with you, I had a large lunch.” Its fine with me, his nervous mannerism is making me uncomfortable.

We made small talk while we finished our drinks. I stopped being lady like at the end and just gulped the last of my martini. I just wanted to be done. Here’s what I learned…He asked a few polite questions in the beginning but became fascinated by the poker game on television. When I asked if he played poker, I mean he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, he answered no he’d never played. So anyways I learned that he grew up in a small town about an hour and a half from the capital. He came to this city for college and never left. He works in marketing, meaning he makes pens and caps for franchises. He likes his job because no one bothers him. He doesn’t like sports that much even though he went to a fan fanatic school. I knew more about hockey than he did. He likes beer not wine. He’s not ready to settle down. He literally has left the state about three times in his life. And he isn’t bothered by that, he may want to visit some islands and definitely Ireland because they drink a lot of beer. He’d have to get used to the cultural differences considering they drink there beer room temperature. He wants a dog one day.
By then he finished his beer and had to go so he could take his brother to the airport! We got separate checks and he left me at the valet stand, didn’t bother to wait for me to get my car. Well don’t I feel like every awkward date cliche in the book. I only partially blame him and almost not at all because he tried to be polite… Well at least not openly offending, but he’d checked out the moment he saw me. I arrived at 7:08, our date was scheduled for 7:15, by 8:10 I’d retrieved my car from valet and was at the ice cream shop a mile away, where I sit writing…

Now here is the rant…

First, let me state that I am not the gal who yells prejudice or racism any time a white guy doesn’t pay attention to me. I personally think that if I am going to spend any significant time in my personal life with someone I don’t have to be politically correct. I do think that by dancing around the subject of race… This is me giving them the benefit of the doubt. But really I think they were just trying to feel their quota of dates for me. I say me because he’d on I think four dates and we started around the same time. O is my second…

Anyway, I think that by avoiding clarification on his desired race they put both of us in an awkward situation. Me more so than anyone because I had to look at the expression of mortification that was supposed to be behind my back. But also him because… Well I’m sure it was uncomfortable for him but I’m having hard time feeling for him right now.

I’m furious because when I first started the owner said:

If I don’t think I have guys for you I won’t take your business.

She also told me she had several guys in mind but besides L, I can’t Imagine what is going through her head. First there was L, we weren’t a match but I could see how we MAYBE had things in common on paper. Then there was a man who I turned down. We didn’t appear to have anything in common and he was 15 years my senior. Now I’ve listed in another post about how broad I made my specifications as far as physical features. So it aggravates me when they don’t stick to them. Insult to injury is when there is nothing in common as far as listed personality traits or desired traits in your match. I think the worst part is when the coordinator tried to make me feel bad about turning down the date. I told her I left certain characteristics broad for a reason. For instance I am open to 10 years older than me. L was 11 years my senior, I let that slide. Fifteen years is pushing it. I told her I want something in common with these guys, I’m not asking for an instant love connection but I am interested in something serious. I have no interest in someone who could theoretically be my father. To this the coordinator replies snippety-like,

Well, its only 15 years, so he definitely couldn’t be your father.

Uh, perhaps you don’t watch the news but 15 years old is old enough to sire a child.

By the way the only reason I was matched with him was after 2 weeks of waiting after the first date I called and inquired about what exactly is involved in their “matching process” that it takes 2 weeks especially when the owner had “several guys” in mind. Of course when I called she was “just looking at my file” and up popped granddad for a date.

Now with this guy, O, I specifically asked two questions:
1) Is he interested in something serious?
2) Is he okay with dating an African American?

To both questions an emphatic yes. So now I have to tell them how I feel they are dishonest and what a humiliating position they put me in. I bet you ten bucks she will get an attitude…

Stay tuned!

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