saditycents











{June 1, 2018}   Can you count on yourself?

I don’t feel that accomplished lately. I’ll have a few days of doing great with my fitness and food and then I just fall off. Or worse I see results and I “reward” myself by sabatoging myself. Its a frustrating cycle to say the least but its more than that. I’ve realized I can’t trust myself. I set goals and instantly there is doubt in my head that I can achieve it because time and time again I have moved the finish line, compromised the goal, or just flat out lied to myself. At the time I said it was so that I wouldn’t be too strinhent, that I wouldn’t be too hard on myself but along the way I’ve gotten way too soft. I don’t hold myself accountable and I don’t even know if I know how. Having support is great but you have to be the first block of your supoort system, the most dependable block. Can you count on yourself to help you lose weight?

Advertisements


When I was seriously ready to start my weight loss journey after the baby. I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I also knew with the holidays coming up I was setting myself up for failure if I tried to diet during the food fest that is Thanksgiving, Christmas, and in my family makeup a few other holidays and birthdays as well. So I joined Weight Watchers.

What?! I know Weight Watchers during the holidays? I didn’t join so much to lose weight as I did to avoid gaining weight. I needed accountability and a plan to keep me at least on a healthy-ish trajectory. Considering that I love a discount and a savings, you have to know I was serious because Weight Watchers doesn’t offer a discount during the holidays, at least they didn’t for me.

I joined from October until January, to gather tools, get my mind right and just not gain the inevitable 5 to 10 lbs I gain every year. I’m happy to report it actually worked. I even lost a couple pounds. So why didn’t I stay?

Well, for one it’s expensive. The constant marketing was another, I wanted to train myself to eat healthy, not figure out how to cheat the point system with manufactured food. But most of all, I needed active support. I went to the meetings and really you hear a lecture and receive a little bit of nutrition education and then you talk about ways to skirt the system and then you leave. I saw people in my group who had been in there for years and really hadn’t lost much weight according to their own reports. They stayed for the camaraderie. That was great for them, but I needed a little push and I needed people who were active. I found that, of all places, at my local YMCA, for free (It’s included with a YMCA membership)! They have a program Lose to Win and you meet with a small group weekly to discuss progress and nutrition. The kicker is, you are already at the gym so you might as well get an hour workout in. So far, I’ve lost 15lbs in 10 weeks of active weight loss effort (Just writing that makes me realize the accomplishment. It doesn’t feel like much in day-to-day life). It’s not all this program, but I think that this program has helped. I believe a large portion of that is being in the gym, having familiarity with the leader, and the people. Participants are usually people in your own neighborhood, so there is familiarity. Also, you develop workout groups and that alone is an encouragement. It’s a more multi-pronged approach, which was necessary for me.

I’m not knocking Weight Watchers, because I actually really love their program and I am quasi- mimicking it even now. But I am encouraging others to seek the support they need, don’t just try to fit into a program that isn’t giving you what you need to be successful. What does your support look like? Let me know. Give me some ideas!

I have some more support elements in play right now and I will discuss them in future posts.



{February 19, 2018}   “One Day” wardrobe

We all have them, the “one day” clothes. You know, the clothes that remind you of yesteryear or yester-size. The clothes you bought as goal outfits that taunt you as you get further and further away from attaining the goal. The clothes that stopped fitting well awhile back but you squeeze into and show of all your unflattering angles. Yep that wardrobe.

As part of my weight loss journey I decided to stop holding on to these things. You see I have items in every size. So that as I’m shrinking I don’t have to buy new clothes. The problem is, I believe clutter not only takes up space in your home and mind it shows up on your body. As I’m releasing the weight I want to also release the junk I’m holding onto. To be honest many of my “favorite yester-size” outfits aren’t kept because of some fabulous memory. They’re kept almost as a mental lashing, a punishment for letting myself “go.” They serve as a reminder of my failing. Every time I see them it’s as if I’m scolding myself, “look how cute you used to be, look what size you use to wear.” They serve as validation that I once was worthy.

Except my journey is also one of combatting the negative thoughts and emotions that lead to eating my feelings. So why would I keep this junk around?



We went walking on some trails near our home, as we do often. Only this time baby girl wakes up halfway through (which is unusual) and decides nothing will comfort her but nursing. Only problem? We’re on a dirt path with trees on both side and an incline on both sides. There’s no where to sit as far as the eye can see and the sun is starting to go down. So what did I do? I mommed it and nursed while finishing the evening trek. LOL! And I didn’t even have the baby carrier!

Now I’m sure there are veteran moms out there who would say this is no big deal, but right now I feel like I should get a wilderness badge and be a leader in the zombie apocalypse because I have now mastered not just nursing and walking, but nursing and hiking. 😂

Sorry I didn’t get a picture. I was too busy nursing. 🤦🏾‍♀️



{January 22, 2018}   Admit it you’re FAT

I’m pretty sure I’ve railed about the fallacy of the BMI scale before. the cliff notes are that the BMI led me to believe I was overweight long before I really was. So I’ve always taken it with a grain of salt. I mean at 125lbs and a size 6 the BMI said I was overweight and really and truly I was just curvy.

Me at the “overweight/ obese” line on the BMI scale.

But there comes a point when you do have to admit, it’s not just ” curves” anymore. I think I’ve hit that moment. Though I don’t put all my faith in the BMI scale and I recognize that it’s a commercial construct, there is some validity behind having a line in the sand between acceptable weight and unacceptable. Mine came when my baby turned 5 months. I weighed myself and I was not losing those last 5lbs, to say nothing of the 50 pounds that had nothing to do with her. Out of curiosity I calculated my BMI. I was used to the index saying I was overweight and a few years ago I’d crossed to obese. But again, I was biased against its findings since my obsession with it my number in that particular scale (and that of uneducated medical professionals) had sent me into a spiral of self loathing and doubt and really body dysmorphia. But there is nothing that can prepare you to see “morbidly obese.” I mean that’s a name for other people, people who don’t look like me. People who can’t walk far in the store or ride roller coasters or who have to buy an extra seat (I’m not saying my thoughts were PC or kind, but we all try to define something undesirable as the “others”). Morbidly obese was not me, a woman who kept herself up and wore makeup everyday and still got turn backs from passing guys. Yet, there it was. On the BMI scale morbidly obese is considered anyone with a BMI of 40 or higher and I was a 40.9.

I was so ashamed, saddened, hurt. How? When? Why? Me?

Yes, you!

Somehow over the years I’d decided that since the BMI was so fallible that I could dismiss all the information and insight it has to offer. As long as I felt like I looked good “for my weight,” I’d decided it was the same as being at a good and healthy weight. And somehow being cut and “thick” was the same as actually thriving… I was wrong. And that misguided logic had allowed me to watch the scale creep up to my never ever number. You know that one number on the scale, where you swear you’ll never reach? I’d hit it, I’d passed it. It actually became my first weight loss goal; to get back to my never ever weight.

Sometimes even a fallible scale can help you correct failing logic and just admit that you are officially FAT — Failing At Thriving.



After having the baby there are a few inappropriate yet nevertheless persistent questions people feel obliged to ask:

  • How was labor?
  • Did you have an epidural?
  • Are you going to have more?
  • Have you lost the baby weight?

Of all the questions I find the last one the most insidious. Probably because I feel like it’s an undercover jab. It’s no secret I’m on the chubbier side and to me the underlying question I’m really being asked is, “Were you fat before the baby?”

It’s a tough question because you just want to enjoy this moment in life without being dogged by the insecurities and pressures of societies obsession with weight. Often I say, “No I still have more to lose.” But the truth is I only gained about 20-odd pounds with my pregnancy (granted there was weight from a precious unrealized pregnancy as well, but even that doesn’t account for it all) and most of it is gone. But I just call it all “baby weight.”

It certainly stops the judgement because many slim women gain 40 and even 60 pounds and are their trim selves in a respectable time after birth. My sister is one, on a bad day she might be a size 6 (and I’ve seen those jeans sagging on her). She gained about 60 pounds with her last pregnancy and lost it with nothing more than breastfeeding. So no one bats an eye at my fib. But while my exaggeration rids me of the pressure and judgment of the moment, it does nothing for the looming challenge to actually lose my so called baby weight.

I’ve scoured YouTube, blogs, and articles and the voice consistently lacking is that of the plus-sized new mother trying to lose weight. So where do you go for that support? Where do you find the gentle minded weight loss advice that tells you to love your body because it just gave life? That voice that says slow and steady is the way and to avoid taxing your body too much. After all it’s still supporting life via breastfeeding for some and in general as a round the clock caretaker. Yet, as a plus-sized mom I’m not afforded that. One, I’m looked at as a something that needs to be fixed. My entire mothering experience is centered around my weight:

  • Complications are assumed because I’m overweight.
  • Breastfeeding is encouraged to help me lose the weight more than nourish my baby.
  • Exercise is pushed far earlier than is necessary. Just because you can exercise at 6 weeks doesn’t mean you should go full throttle with all the needs your body has and is attending to for your baby.

I’ve said it before on this blog, I’m no expert, so the truth is, I don’t know where that voice is in the sea of opinions. I know YouTube videos feature previously fit women returning to their prepregnacy weight. News flash! Your body works to return to its normal weight one way or the other. That means your slim body fights to stay slim and it also means a plump body fights to stay plump. So skinny Minnie’s tips aren’t as salient to me because we don’t have the same starting place. Maybe I can be one small voice out there for several reasons:

  • The diversity of voices and experiences is lacking.
  • If I need the support someone else does too.
  • If I’m a voice of any worth it means I’ve succeeded in my own weight loss quest.

Until then, we’ll just keep calling it baby weight.



{November 6, 2017}   The Struggle is Real

Its almost 1 am and this nursing mama should be asleep instead I am awake. I can’t even say I’m wide awake, I’m just barely awake, yet there is so much to do. How does one balance it all? How do you function as CFO of our home, chef, property manager, laundress, and full-time child care provider. All while trying to eak out a semblance of a career (which has take a major back seat, I mean right now its not even in the trunk, its hitched to a trailer and holding on for dear life), lose weight, stay presentable (which means doing my hair every day) , and trying to actually interact more than just feeding  the aforementioned child. Sure teaching her French right now is a little much, but I also don’t want her just staring at the ceilings between feedings and diaper changes. How do you accomplish it all? Right now it doesn’t feel like anything can be dropped. Don’t manage the finances and rental property? Don’t prepare whole food meals for the family? Don’t do laundry?

The go to answer is have your husband help more. But if he is already extremely helpful between classes and work and taking on a major portion of the cleaning all while dealing with Uncle Sam on a daily bases what more can you ask before you both are overwhelmed? Right now my solution is that I overload myself to keep from overloading him. It seems like men can’t handle stress at the level women can. I don’t know if there is an answer. There’s just the question at one in the morning. How do you balance it all? The struggle is so real.



Once nausea subsided from the first trimester, heartburn kicked in. I am having a hard time not relying the go to over-the-counter medicines for relief. Most contain sodium bicarbonate and magnesium trisilicate which really isn’t healthy for pregnant women.  The go to advice is to avoid acidic foods, eat smaller meals, and avoid eating before bed. But I already do all of that. The other day, I ordered tea at a cafe. There was nothing to eat there except pastries and bread. I’m trying to reduce my sugar and anyways, bread give me heartburn. I literally had nothing but tea and… (you guest it) heartburn. So what’s a gal to do?

Here are some natural suggestions for heartburn. I’ve also added whether they worked for me:

  • Water – Basically this is the cure for everything in life. Pregnancy makes the consumption of water both necessary and difficult for me. I drink my water best in large gulps throughout the day, except when you have a growing person inside and hormones raging, consuming anything in large amounts just doesn’t happen. I sip water all day, but apparently not enough to reduce the fire in my chest.

  • Raw apple cider vinegar

  • Fresh lemon in water- This made my heartburn feel worse in my opinion.

  • Ginger tea

  • Coconut water

  • Fennel seeds

  • Peppermint

  • Yogurt or Milk

  • High Enzyme Foods

  • Fermented foods

  • HCL & Pepsin

  • Bentonite Clay – Now this is an old remedy from the south. The fact that it sells in health food stores for $10/ ounce is ridiculous to me. Especially since poor black women have been using it for years, and its use is consider low-end and almost witch crafty or superstitious. But whatever, it really does work and is good for adding nutrients to the body.

  • Aloe Vera – This is the best solution I have found. It last longer than anything else. Before aloe vera, I literally had been sleeping at. 90-degree angle. Anything less cause severe burning in my chest. I have been hard to avoid prescriptions so I am glad I finally discovered the drink I enjoyed in Korea actually is useful for my pregnancy. 

  • Almonds

 

Resources:

https://www.mamanatural.com/pregnancy-heartburn/

http://www.myhealthtips.in/2014/04/natural-cures-for-heartburn-in-pregnant-women.html



Image result for baby eating in the womb

So my first trimester has been one of survival. I have been nauseous more than not and I have what feels like an unnatural tiredness. Emotionally for me this is great because it means the baby is taking my energy and thriving. Nutritionally and physically, not so great. I have been struggling to eat and by doing so I’ve been struggling to get the proper nutrients. My food regimen that seemed to work so well only weeks ago makes me sick at the thought of it; I mean salmon, yuck!

So what do I do? I cut myself slack.

I find that being overly regimented has the opposite effect on my success so I allow myself to  eat whatever I can stomach. However I make sure to focus on some basic health habits to ensure health.

  • Prenatal Vitamins every day. This was hard because it was hard to stomach them at times. Little known fact, prenatal are most effective before and during the early stages of pregnancy. This is one thing I forced on myself, especially on days I never made it through an entire meal. There are a number of prenatal vitamins on the market.
    • Look for a prenatal vitamin that includes:

      • 400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid (I personally prefer folate, the non-synthetic form of B-9).
      • 400 IU of vitamin D.
      • 200 to 300 milligrams (mg) of calcium.
      • 70 mg of vitamin C.
      • 3 mg of thiamine.
      • 2 mg of riboflavin.
      • 20 mg of niacin.
      • 6 mcg of vitamin B12.
      • 10 mg of vitamin E.
      • 15 mg of zinc.
      • 17 mg of iron.
      • 150 micrograms of iodine
  • DHA supplement. The best prenatal comes as a liquid, usually a form of fish or krill oil. If you can stomach it, adding it to a smoothie is a great use of them. If not a gel cap is better than nothing.
  • Water. Early on I learned that the 16 cups (or double normal intake) recommendation for water was unrealistic and discouraging. It requires a lot of chugging of water during a time when I was only capable of sips. My solution was 2 cups in the morning, 1 cup every time I woke up from a nap, and 1 before bed. The rest of the day I sipped. This got me between 6-8 cups of water a day. It’s not ideal but it was better than nothing.
  • Exercise was pretty nonexistent. I seriously felt like I was on bed rest, I was so tired.
  • My only real food requirement was something green or raw everyday.
  • We did continue with our castor oil massages without the heat to help encourage natural detoxing.

Here are some tips from other tips, but I encourage you to be gentle with your body and expectations of yourself.

  • Smoothies: I couldn’t do it, but others swear by them)
  • Crockpot soups: They’re easy. I can tell my husband to throw the ingredients in or I can do it and leave the room to avoid smells. Also, if you add the right ingredients they are very nutritious.
  • Salad commitment: I committed to a salad a day. This helped with nutrient intake and water intake. White breads and rice settled my stomach. Rather than make myself feel guilty, I made sure to eat a large salad every day. The truly was the “better than nothing” trimester. Salads also helped me avoid the dreaded constipation of pregnancy.
  • Indulge in the good stuff: If I found a healthy food I liked, I went all in until I got sick of it. Food nutrition isn’t a cut a dry thing. Many times your body will store excess nutrients so I loaded up on foods like guacamole, lentils, carrots, apples, oatmeal because those were foods I enjoyed for a time. I didn’t force feed myself anything that made me queasy.

References:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/prenatal-vitamins#1

http://www.babypost.com/blogs/beautiful-baby-body-blog/best-foods-eat-during-first-trimester



{February 1, 2017}  

You know that time where life is happening so fast and all of its blog worthy but you can’t seem to keep up with it all? Yea, me too. The last six months have been a blur of blogable events and yet I haven’t really blogged. So I figured maybe if I just list everything that’s been going on then I can organize my thoughts and pump out some posts. So here we go:

  1. Husband and I developed a fertility diet for me after weeks of research based on some great books and blogs. 
  2. We found out we were pregnant after one cycle on the diet. Which was wonderful because we’d been trying for awhile and had received really distressing news from the doctor. I attribute a lot of this to faith in action. I had faith God would make a way, but I didn’t sit on my laurels either. 
  3. We celebrated a milestone birthday for hubby with a trip to Yellowstone National Park. It was amazing and we loved it. 
  4. Then I went about finding the right care provider by of course researching. Who would have know this sadity girl is crunchy when it comes to her baby. I wasn’t impressed with the apathetic or overly medical options I was being offered with traditional medicine so we picked a midwife. What! It’s actually becoming more common but mine is not associated with a hospital so for me that meant I could seek the care I want and not the treatments dictated to me. 
  5. I have had to do a lot of traveling for work and family in the last few months. Which has helped me come up with a pretty stellar travel “must haves” list for the pregnant woman. 
  6. I also switched my fertility diet and exercise routine to a prenatal one. I didn’t follow one particular plan but rather I took practice options from several to create a plan for a real pregnant person. You know one who is has a  below average fitness commitment and likes food (even if it does make her sick right now).
  7. I put together a registry early on based on great advice from my sister and mother, two vets in the game. It’s also gender neutral!
  8. I’ve resisted the new mom stereotype of everything must be new and instead opted for a Sadity Cents type nursery and baby preparation. 
  9. I’m prepping for taxes because organization and life don’t stop with a baby. 
  10. And of course cooking! I will say that’s fewer and far between because standing and smelling for too long just aren’t working right now. 
  11. As a bonus I figured out the man I married is awesome! And really is the best daddy-to-be. He’s consistently take on a number of chores and pampering techniques to make this a wonderful pregnancy. 

Follow the links, which I will add as I write the relevant posts. Said posts will be written in between naps, so please be patient. 🙂



et cetera